Somebody yelled 'STRIPPER FIGHT!'

Evidently not satisfied with the patrons ability to "make it rain," a gang of strippers at an Atlanta strip club decided to bring the pain, according to the AJC.
One of them got shanked in the fisticuffs and had to go to Grady Memorial Hospital with knife wounds.
Now, what would make a bunch of law-abiding, upstanding citizen-hos come to blows? I mean, isn't it enough that during a recession you're able to show a little leg and get a grown man to forfeit his baby's pamper money? I mean, what EGGXACTLY do you want?
There were no reports of champagne bottle-popping or glass breaking so we'll take that as a good sign.


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'Musician in Bear Costume Dates Ex-Stripper'

That would be the headline if Kanye West's travails with Amber Rose were done in a straight-news format.
Today people, and organizations, juice things up a bit for sensation, but it's a simple black-and-white story in the end.
It would probably begin like this:
A 30-year-old rapper that entered the rap profession dressed as a bear with college-themed albums has been photographed lately with a former Philadelphia stripper, according to some reports.

The new couple have been seen in Paris at fashion shows and at fancy restaurants in the States. Kanye, 30, was born in Atlanta, Ga., but raised in Chicago, Ill. He dropped out of college at Chicago State University. He once famously rapped that he needed "one of Russell's [Simmons] nieces" to be happy.
Russell's nieces, before moving to Los Angeles, lived in Saddle River, New Jersey.
Amber Rose is reportedly pimped by a 39-year-old woman named Chyna, who lives in the Bronx, New York. Saddle River is approximately 15 miles from the Bronx.
Russell has two nieces. Neither of which have been to China, but they have most certainly been to the Bronx. But they've never walked across the Brooklyn Bridge to buy cheesecake. Kanye West has a song called ""Jesus Walks.