Pre-Father's Day: Ware = Big Daddy

DeMarcus Ware, fearsome defensive lineman for the Dallas Cowboys, is a big softie at heart, when he's not attacking opposing quarterbacks.
As that special day that causes you to think about your father looms ahead, it's also evident that Ware was apparently ahead of the curve.
Huh, what's that? What curve, you ask?
The one where hulking football players adopt infants, you know, similar to Angelina Jolie, Madonna and Sandra Bullock.
Only Ware did it first (well, Brangelina did, but who cares). Ware's wife Taniqua suffered three soul-numbing miscarriages before adopting Marley in 2008.
One of the babies was named Omar. Ware said at the time, “I feel Omar out there with me [during games], watching over me and protecting me. Sometimes, when I’m tired on the field, and I feel like I can’t go anymore, I just think, what if he had one more breath? What if all three did?”
That kind of stuff is why the Dallas Cowboys will always be America's Team.
Mr. D-Ware, Popwife salutes you!

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Barbie: Why he chose her

Maybe it's because your hair is more blonde than hers. Both of them black at the roots.
Her eyes are blue like the ocean, and just as deep.
Yours are brown like the Earth. Like his.
When he looks at you he sees his mother. When he looks at her he sees a hot mama.
Sure, her Gucci purse is fake; but your attitude is.
She doesn't have it together. But she knows it. And she's willing to admit a need.
After all, isn't that why you choose somebody?



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Where all the black men are

The male-female ratio is causing social havoc and is responsible for how you dress, how you act, what car you drive, and even, how you view yourself, according to Tim Harford, a British economist and author of a book called “The Logic of Life”.
The Economist shines a light on what black women -- actually all women who want a black man -- have to go through in a startling piece.
It's no secret that incarceration rates are affecting family and communities, but the overall effect on something as simple and sacred as love -- LOVE -- remains understudied and underestimated. While there is ample evidence about this subject, Harford has a way of showing the economic side of this travesty, underlining the lost dollars that a household does without due to a jailed husband or father.
A not-too-mentioned side effect of the lack of available, eligible, educated and gainfully employed men of color is that numerous black women are -- whether they like it or not -- forced to compete for the few that are out there.
Sexual urges being what they are in society, competition is not inherently fair.
And that does something, self-esteem-wise, I think. I may not be exactly sure what it does. But the effects are pretty obvious.
What's a single black female to do?




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Gynophobia: Why he's scared of you

As a female, it's normal for you to wonder WTH is going on in his head. You've met this new guy and he's yet to call, doesn't seem to take visual hints, or read expressions.
If it weren't for your openness and bold declarations of what could happen, he'd probably still be sitting over in the corner someplace. And yet, here he is, in your life, albeit, barely.
Why hasn't he "manned up" and jumped at the chance to know you?
Maybe, because he's scared of you.
Yes, yes, afraid of you, and mostly, all women that showed even a glimmer of interest in him. See, women are'n't the only ones who get so gun shy that it cripples them.
Gynophobia (also spelled as gynephobia) is an abnormal fear of women. In the past, the Latin term was used, horror feminae, literally meaning "fear of women". The word caligynephobia is also coined to mean the fear of beautiful women. For the latter one the expression venustraphobia is also used.

It should not be confused with misogyny, which is dislike of or prejudice against women, although the term may be seen used in this meaning as well.

Gynophobia used to be considered a driving force toward homosexuality. Havelock Ellis in his 1896 Studies in the Psychology of Sex wrote:
"It is, perhaps, not difficult to account for the horror — much stronger than that normally felt toward a person of the same sex — with which the invert often regards the sexual organs of persons of the opposite sex. It cannot be said that the sexual organs of either sex under the influence of sexual excitement are esthetically pleasing; they only become emotionally desirable through the parallel excitement of the beholder. When the absence of parallel excitement is accompanied in the beholder by the sense of unfamiliarity as in childhood, or by a neurotic hypersensitiveness, the conditions are present for the production of intense horror feminae or horror masculis, as the case may be."
And it should be noted that many females are afraid of males, too, for several reasons.
Wilhelm Stekel, author of "Sadism and Masochism: The Psychology of Hatred and Cruelty" discusses horror of a male masochist that many women feel.
According to Wikipedia, some authors consider the myths about Amazons evidence of gynophobia in Classical Athens.
Are you (gasp)... afraid?

Janet Jackson holds it together

Janet Jackson, music royalty and one of the youngest 42-year-olds in the world, is back on the big screen in Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married, Too," and it seems that she and both Jill Scott were going through absolute hell while filming, even though part of the set was done in Barbados.
We all know Janet's ordeal with her brother Michael Jackson's death (and the ongoing NippleGate saga), but few knew that Jill Scott was going through a torturous divorce around the same time.
It says something when two music stars, not necessarily known for their acting (at least in the case of Scott) can pull off some fine, theatrical acting under stress.
Jackson said Perry is a stern director but he was patient with her after her brother died.
Perry was "constantly calling me, making sure I was OK, making sure that there wasn't anything that I needed or my family needed," she said.
Perry said he expects to do more movies about marriage and relationships in the future.
Jackson and her family are about to relive the horror all over again as a nasty trial over her brother's death is sure to open newly mended wounds.


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Girls Year Out: Less Dates as Economy Stalls

It's a recession in more ways than one. The current economy that the nation is experiencing has caused a somewhat new phenomenon in the world of dating and relationships. As customs go, it is traditional for the man to take his women out periodically here and there. Even if the two weren't a "couple" they could still fraternize as platonic entities in public i.e. movie buddies, mall rats, etc. Calling up a person of the opposite sex and going out was a nice and welcome gesture that broke up the monotony of staying home all week after a series of stressful shifts. But due to new reasons, most likely monetary, also the demise of dating, ritualistic girls night out? Well, it's slowly turning into a girls year out for many women.
"Dudes aren't even stepping to me anymore," one girl recently told me. The way she put it, many folks have lost their jobs, especially black men, and they just aren't up to going out anymore, or even hanging out. Women are going it alone these days. In flocks. In droves.
Don't get me wrong, it's been headed this way for quite a while, but it's almost now like men and women are increasingly living in one-gender worlds: Women see and talk to nothing but women. Some men hang out with, play with, deal with only men.
Has it come to that?

Fail: Woman ruins marriage for game show

This very intelligent, caring, loving person probably ruined her marriage on a game show by telling the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I don't know about you, but somebody should have stepped in and stopped the poor girl. Who tells national TV that you were in love with an ex on your wedding day? Could you tell all this?




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Would you make a better mother than wife?

If you had to choose between mother and wife, then the answer is obvious: New life, a fresh start at molding a human being is the most joyous, rewarding privilege in this world. So great is the duty, than thousands of women each week give birth to children, little people that love and embody their mothers so much.
But does being a good mother automatically mean that you'd be a good wife? Conversely, if a man is a good father does it mean he would be a good husband? Should it? I mean, the skill set is the same as far as dependency and commitment (100%) but oftentimes we fall short in our relationships because we don't give the same benefits to our mates as we do our children.
Some celebrities say they choose to have children and not husbands when they actually are simply giving in to their inclinations to stop trying.
As for the child whom we forgive so much, he/she is just a child you say, and yes, maturity plays a role. But a child is wired to forgive mistakes, yours as much as their own (ever see a baby beat themselves up for falling on the ground?)
We all have a duty to love the people in our lives with everything we've got. That means love and embodiment 100%.

Study: Pretty Women get Madder

If you're cute then you may get kind of demonic when upset, according to University of California researchers.
Women who described themselves as pretty were more mean-spirited when it came to attacks, according to the study. They got angry more easily. Attractive women also had higher expectations that others, according to the study.
Is this really a news flash to men? I don't think so, but to some it may be, seeing how some men have simply given up going for the trophy and are content with the normal chicks and even less than normal chicks (hey, that's a good thing).
All the drama, the catfighting , the conflict, etc. can be traced to the superiority complex that these "good-looking' women supposedly have.
While that's good news for the "regular" chicks out there, some people may argue that the really "attractive" women weren't all that regular to begin with.
My name is Bennett ...

Do you have an alter-ego?

Sure, some of us have two sides, but what happens when we basically have two different people trapped inside us?
We all know the chick who is "Miss Calm, cool, collected" when she's chillen, but when she goes out (or better yet gets a lil liquor in her) turns into a beserko.
Many, many women have done things in the late of night against their better judgment that they'd wished they hadn't done once the morning light came. And they even look to distance themselves from their actions (actually themselves, or a version of themselves).
Could it be that the "real person" simply came out during the aforementioned time in question?
Some people who are repressed, depressed or even suppressed can exhibit behavior totally unlike themselves sometimes.
I know, I know, there's a clinical name for that. But maybe just maybe, we all have two beings inside of us. Maybe.

She cheated. She cheated bad. Now what?

With all the "Liger Woods" drama that has captivated smallville we sometimes forget that the shoe often fits the other foot just as often if not as well known.
Yes, women cheat. To emphasize it a litte more, some women really cheat.
How can a man recover from such a betrayal? I mean, women are supposed to be innocent and fragile and nurturing and, well, sugar and spice and everything nice ... right?
Of course, men are supposed to uphold their end of the bargain and if 2009 is any indication, it aint hadnin.
Well, the Internet is full of men who are grappling with this very issue right now.
Some of them feel that they "weren't attractive enough" to keep them.
Some men are "paranoid" because of the woman's past infidelity.
Some of them have even "caught her in bed with another man" - well, I hope she stopped.
So, yes, it goes both ways, and both ways are shameful and wrong. But what now?
Does Oprah know? Does Dr. Phil know? How about Dr. Ruth?
Could Yoda share some tid bits?
Well, first off, leave the alcohol alone (makes it worse).
No. 2 - stay away from flamethrowers or any music by Sufjan Stevens
Oh, heck, you know what to do. You know what to do.
Leave. Or. Stay. Period.

Best of 09: Phases of a Relationship

We got mad love for illustrating the 'Phases of Love' in early 2009. Check out the complete phases of a relationship here.

Is Tiger a Dog?

With the revelations of marital infidelity swarming golfer Tiger Woods there still is the matter of degree.
Not to minimize his unfaithfulness, but just how bad of a cheater is he? Does he have a sex addiction? Is he crazy? There are tons of questions out there. One of the more profound is there, does it even really matter?
The media (and the people who read and subscribe to them) love a good tale of hypocrisy. This is certainly it. But could it be that Tiger just got confused and let the power go to his head? Or is he just a dog (or even worse, a low-down dirty dog?
And just how big is Team Tiger, the stable of women that reportedly are acknowledging a relationship with Tiger?
One thing is certain, he may need Oprah, Jesse Jackson, Dr. Phil, and T.D. Jakes to help his image after this one.

Is Your Relationship Getting Boring?

Blame it on the recession or just coincidence, but alot of couples are falling into monotony most nights, watching TV or fiddling on the computer, regardless of the occasion.
Don't get me wrong, I like the invention of the television set, but I'm in the minority here: I've never seen CSI, NYPD-blue or red, or whatever forensic schtick is on these days.
I'm a doer. I need to be gone sometimes.
Certainly the economic downturn has stopped a lot of people from going out and doing some of the things they're accustomed to doing i.e. movies, fine dining, plays, etc.
But is sitting in the house staring at the walls the answer?
Most people say there is a two-word remedy that can cure what ails such a relationship: Free stuff.
Yes, do free stuff.
And no, watching the television is not "free," nor is Playstation.
Doing free things involves actually leaving the house (often with a entertainment guide from the local city) to find, search, unearth the hard-to-find joys out there for couples to enjoy.
Got any ideas?

Breaking: Tall Men Get the Girls

It may be old news to most of you, but contrary to popular belief, there has never been a scientific study to confirm the obvious.
Until now.
Women prefer taller men, according to a new study.
But why?
Are short men forever relegated to "cute" status because of their small stature?
What makes a woman want someone who is vertically bigger than them? As a person considered "tall" (6-2) I suspect it is the illusion of safety, rather than domination, that makes it attractive.
A woman wants someone who looks as if he can protect her and she feels most natural in this role (Of course, a man's heart is not measured by how tall he is).
And if you prefer tall men, is there a thing as too tall, such as NBA-tall?
What if your man is 6-9, and you're 5-2? Does that work?
How?

Is Justin Timberlake On the Prowl?

With news that the romance between actress Jessica Beil and "Cry Me a River" singer Justin Timberlake is on the skids, speculation has reached fever pitch on who Timbo has on his "hit list."
Could he be sharing Rihanna's umbrella, ella, ella ... Aye!
That's the word on the street, as Timberlake's exploits with different women in the past few weeks have fueled rumors of he and Biel's entry into Splitsville. (He reportedly was with RiRi at MTV's VMA's two weeks ago).
The latest news is that Timbo is still sailing with Biel but the ship is taking on water.
Whatever happens, Biel will have no problemo finding somebody should Timbo decide to dip.
He may love her, but sometimes it takes the ups -- and downs -- before you know that you and a person are really N'Sync, ya know?

Is It Possible for Adults to be Spoiled Rotten?

Okay, you're a Grown A. Man or Grown A. Woman, right? And you usually get what you deserve via hard work, determination, etc., right?
But you can still be spoiled, right?
I mean, as grown-ups we tend to associate the word with children, but let's face it: Some off us do act like juveniles.
I mean, if you don't get your way in a relationship do you pout? Do you get mad, angry and belligerent? That's pouting.
Think about it: What was the last significant argument you had with your Sig Other (that didn't involve moolah)? Was it because of something that didn't go your way, and you just made a big stink over it?
That's. Pouting.
It's not cute, people. I know, I know, you're working on it. But we dont' have all lifetime, ya know?

Do You Ever Forgive a Beater?

If a man, or woman, puts their hands on you, is it automatically curtains for the relationship?
People fight everyday; over money, over custody, over nothing, but it's for the most part verbal.
But ever so often confrontations turn physical. And when they do, the harm is superficial or deep and longlasting, but either way it usually signals the end of the union.
Should it?
Should you ever keep a "friend" that has proven that he or she will jump on you?
Some people may say that once someone touches you then a sacred line has been crossed and you're better off living -- before you get killed! I can't disagree with that sentiment. However, the old folks have a saying also: If he'll lie, he'll steal; if he'll steal, he'll kill.
So, from that viewpoint, a liar will dead you too.
The moral of the story? Stay away from Cheaters.

What Kanye needs: Alexis Phifer

The recent spazz-out by Kanye West at the VMAs (and the subsequent shamefulness on "The Jay Leno Show") speaks volumes about the influences in Kanye's life right now: He's on top of the world, making millions in dough, and got a hot model chick on his arm but ... he's not happy.
The death of his mother pretty much destroyed any semblance of a normal life for the guy. He needs one thing: His ex-girlfriend back.
This is the perfect time for Alexis Phifer to come back on the scene. She bonded with Kanye before stripper-turned-model Amber Rose came on the scene. She befriended Donda West. She knew Donda West.
Kanye seems lost right now (Did you see him and Amber drinking Hennessy at the VMAs?.
Where is Alexis?

Are White Guys Getting It In?

It is obvious that love -- that odorless, colorless, many splendored thing -- has never had a color, never had a preference other than its own reciprocation.
While human prejudices and orientations dictated who coupled with who, societal standards have finally caught up with the heart's desires.
Black women, long complaining about the scarcity of eligible brothers on the scene, are being pleasantly surprised by the caucasian attention being brought there way.
There may be racism in the world, but when the lights are off, everybody's black.
White and black. Black and brown. Brown and yellow, etc. But if American cities are any indication, the biggest beneficiaries to the love being spreaded around these days is the white guy.
When it comes to the dating game, white guys are getting it in these days.
Ahem, I said white guys are getting it in these days (slow clap).