Somebody yelled 'STRIPPER FIGHT!'

Evidently not satisfied with the patrons ability to "make it rain," a gang of strippers at an Atlanta strip club decided to bring the pain, according to the AJC.
One of them got shanked in the fisticuffs and had to go to Grady Memorial Hospital with knife wounds.
Now, what would make a bunch of law-abiding, upstanding citizen-hos come to blows? I mean, isn't it enough that during a recession you're able to show a little leg and get a grown man to forfeit his baby's pamper money? I mean, what EGGXACTLY do you want?
There were no reports of champagne bottle-popping or glass breaking so we'll take that as a good sign.


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Do You have to have it?

In this current recession, few things have tempted us like luxe items we may have gotten accustomed to. But it's a new reality.
It's real now. We. Can't. Spend. Like. We. Used. To.
You'll just have to do without or save up until you have the cash. Another option is layaway (do they even still have layaway?).

Study: Masterbation Linked to Prostate Cancer

First, let me just say ...
... DAYUM!!!
Ahem, now.
In absolutely crushing news to post-college single men across the world, a new study says masterbation is linked to early prostate cancer.
The god-awful study says that frequent jacking off in the 20s and 30s is a high indicator to prostate cancer. Interestingly, men who self-pleasured in their 60s and beyond (really?) have a lessened risk. Of course, the word "frequent" is not defined, so there is room for vagueness in the study. So, according to this study men in their 20s and 30s have a vested interest in settling down and being with a consistent partner. What a novel idea!