5 Things NOT to do if You're Unemployed

Let's face it: It's real in the field, aka it's sooo tough to find a job right now. The unemployment rate is surging with every week that goes by. If you are jobless there are things to do, and there are things NOT to do. However, by simply letting the time pass by we could be making things alot worse. So, here's how not to get the winter doldrums as your job search lengthens:

DON'T PANIC: Take a deep breath, and breathe ..... Okay, losing your mind will not make a job magically appear. Now is the time to remain calm, collected and think through your plans.

DON'T TURN TO THE BOTTLE: Yeah, we know, it's so so easy to go to the corner liquor store and get a bottle of what ails you, but it's not the answer. When you sober up, your job situation will still be there, only you will have lost time, money, and possibly gagged on yourself. HOwever, if you've got to have a drink, we'd suggest an Atomic Cocktail (vodka) as the drink of choice.

AVOID THE POLE: Making ends meet as a stripper is fast-money,
big money and easy money, but it's also a vicious trap and dangerous as heck. To the vast majority of women who strip, they are propositioned by countless con-artists, scary geeks and pedos that try to lure them home, prostitute them or just plain rob them. The strip club is a den of thieves. Don't ever think it's an option. HOwever if you want to
install a pole in your house there are resources available.

NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK: The adage "it's who you know," is never more true than when it comes to employment. Network in your social circle. Get out and meet people at the social hangouts that you frequent. If not in person, then do it online. There are countless job resources online that can help you, including a ton of job sites (monster, indeed, yahoojobs, etcs.).

REALIZE YOU'RE NOT ALONE: Don't be depressed because you can't find a job. Millions of people are just like you. Millions don't have the skills, experience or schooling that you have. Don't give up.

The End of the White-Bread American Dream

If you've been leaving in a cave in Tasmania somewhere you might not have caught it, but, the American Dream is dying. Whether it was spurred by high gas prices, two wars at the same time or just good ole fashioned corporate greed, the A.D. (American Dream) is on the way out. But what's interesting, is that it's not just any ole American Dream, specifically the white-bread American Dream: The nice truck, late-model minivan, husband-wife, 2.5 kids and dog from the terrier genus, plus home with white picket fence. Nope, outta here. Been replaced by overworked manager with suicidal teen, wife who "friends" strangers on Myspace while Daddy's at work, and the single-car family. The people we know are increasingly colorful: Indians, Mexicans, Nigerians, and less and less from ... say, Idaho. Jobs are scarce; the employed are just as scared as the unemployed; what's happening? TO BE CONTINUED.

5 Reasons to Smile At Work During These Economic Days

(1) YOU'RE WORKING: Yes, we know, you hate your job, but trust me, there's a whole lotta people out there that want employment. Even if your job sucks (and trust me some do). In the past year the U.S. economy has shed around 600,000 jobs, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

(2) - YOU'RE UNDERPAID: Believe it or not, be glad you're not making your true worth. Yeah, it hurts to eat at Popeyes for dinner instead of Ruth Chris Steakhouse, but where are your priorities? If your job is like most others, employees at every level usually fall within a defined salary range, and those at the upper end are usually targeted for dismissal when there's a meltdown. Do the math: Highly paid individuals are more at risk simply because they are more expensive.

(3) - YOU DON'T HAVE $100,000 IN THE BANK: Or the credit union, much less anywhere. Face it, you barely have $3,000 in liquid assets, which you were kinda hoping you could spend on that new ride for 2009. Well, the FDIC says they'll insure up to $100,000 in any one account so you don't have to worry about losing your deposits. Right? I mean, you know the FDIC wouldn't lie ... right?

(4.) YOU'RE NOT HARRY PAULSON: Basing his carefully planned press conference on the premise that he is E.F. Hutton, the Treasury Secretary opened his mouth today about the economy and the market tanked. Not since that scene in the "Titanic" where the maker of the large vessel says "Oh, if the 4th compartment floods, we're in deep doodoo!" or something like that.

(5.) YOU'RE NOT DICK FULD: True enough, as head of Lehman Brothers, Fuld could buy me right now, but that doesn't mean he can't get DeBo'ed at a gym days after announcing the collapse of Lehman Brothers. So, things could be worse for us right now rather than slaving at a two-bit job.