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Are Single Moms and Single Dads Viewed the Same?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


A controversial study trumpeted by an ob-gyn leads off with the following hot-button sentence:

Judging by their behavior, American women appear to think that fathers are optional. According to the recently published birth statistics (Births: Final Data for 2006), the proportion of births to unmarried women has reached 38.5%, the highest rate ever recorded.

"Judging by their behavior?" Her whole column just starts off all wrong. But the underlying question is, if we look down on men who abandon their kids, what about women who choose to not have a father in their kids' lives? Thoughts?

4 comments:

Assertive Wit said...

this is a tough one to call because a father might not be around all that much for varying reasons; not saying it's right but everyone's circumstances are different...I'll agree though, that chick started the sentence off ALL wrong and quite judgmental but you know, I'm realizing that's how A LOT OF PEOPLE think on this topic.

We don't live in a time where most women WILLINGLY put up with ridiculous behavior from men simply to "keep a family together". It isn't worth the stress or time...I'd rather do it on my own than to have my relationship with the father make the situation more difficult. At the end of the day, a dad can walk away from his obligations as a father but if a woman does it, she's viewed as less of a person for not upholding her life responsibilities. I think it should be viewed the same but that isn't reality or how things go, unfortunately.

February 24, 2009 at 10:19 AM
Craigjc said...

so true. It kind of goes into the argument of "if a man and woman can't get along to raise a child, then can two men or two women"? I'm Devils Advocate here.

February 24, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Emeritus said...

"Judging by their behavior, American women appear to think that fathers are optional."

Haha I didn't even make it down to what you had to say before I was highlighting and replying. Like you said, this writer started off wrong. It's not that fathers are optional, it's that the AA has resigned themselves to the possibility and even the likelihood of raising their children without fathers for reasons that are well known: poverty, crime, prison, death, teenage pregnancy, previous single mother homes, etc etc.

As for women who choose not to have a father in their child's life, it could be for many reason. The idea that she can do it on her own, the tick of her biological clock without any male suitors, a terrible childhood involving an abusive father, an abusive situation with the current father, etc can all lead a woman to raise a child on her own, on purpose.

I prefer a two-person household but I'm not going to judge a woman for deciding to do it on her own.

February 24, 2009 at 2:46 PM
Ms. Bar B: said...

Lol @ that little piece.

Hey, as long as the kid(s) is taken care of does it really matter? As long as the kid(s) has both positive male and female role models in it's life does it really matter? Biology is but a structure of DNA, right? 1 parent or 2 parent or a whole collective of care givers, I think all of these units yield wonderful human beings.

February 25, 2009 at 12:50 AM
 

2009 ·Popwife Blog by TNB